K-Love Musings

Anatomy of a single 41 year old

Her true gifts are her friends and family. 

She learns to recognize unconditional love and to reciprocate.

She knows that time is not the enemy--it allows for more vivid reflections.

She knows that a full figure should still make room for tons of hope.

She is strong enough to lift the spirits of those around her.

She knows that taking time to do what she loves is never time wasted.

She knows that her job is not her life, but puts life into her job.

Faith and Love center her.

Happy 41st birthday to me!

My friend Aimee says I need to post, so...

Here I am.  It is approximately 36 minutes until July 2 and I'm trying to write something witty so that I won't be deemed a liar.  See, I told Aimee I would post again, but that I needed it to be the beginning of something...the week, the month, the school year, etc.  I told her I would be sure to post today because it is the 1st. If you know me well you know that I can be a little obsessive compulsive.  If I had not posted today I would have had to wait until August 1st or the beginning of next week or something like that. 

So, where have I been.  In a depression funk.  I started to lie about that, but that's what has been keeping me away.  I have a hard time starting things when I am not sure I can finish them and the depression generally assures me that I won't finish them and that in turn makes me more depressed and unable to start things. It's a cyclone of self-doubt.  So, I'm dealing with it and so far, I have been able to start cleaning my home and stop without getting overwhelmed and sitting in the middle of the parking lot looking at all the pretty fireflies.

Fireflies. They are my closest link to the summers I had in Dallas.  My cousins lived down the street and we were outside all the time.  As long as we were in someone's yard by 9:oopm we could stay out until about 10 most nights.  I remember catching fireflies (lightening bugs is what we called them) and people taking the sticky, glow glue off of the bugs to create bug-butt juice jewelry and facial moles.  I don't think I ever took the stuff off, but I do know I spent a lot of time just looking at them.

Ahhh...summer!

Another thing I did a lot of in the summer was read.  I will try to spend some time on this blog recounting my summer reading days of yore and talking about what I am reading these days.

For now, I'm just happy not to have missed my deadline.  Thanks, Aimee!

You're back again...

Is it really all that bad that the part time worker at Office Depot knows my name?  Is it equally bad that I know she's part time and that she's looking for full time work?

It's probably not good that I'm still trying to figure out how I can swing a laminator.

School Daze

Sorry I have been gone so long.  I didn't mean for turning 40 to be the main focus of my blog, but hey it was a big deal.

So, I'm back teaching, but at a new school and a new grade level--6th grade. 

Huge difference from 8th graders.  They are very sweet and their biggest crisis so far is not being able to operate a combination lock and get into their lockers.  Actually, this was a BIG deal, with many tears (theirs) and gnashing of teeth (mine)

I will keep you posted from now on.  I'm back.

40!

Thanks to everyone who made my 40th birthday very special. All the text messages, phone calls, lunches and dinners made me feel very loved.  I am speechless and filled with gratitude with all that God has blessed me. 

One 'til 40

Birthday Greetings from your friends at ...

A few weeks ago I got a card in the mail from DSW shoes for a $5 discount on my next purchase.  Just a way to say, "Hey, happy birthday!  Let's celebrate by you purchasing something from our store.  It's discounted."

I just checked my e-mail and saw that Olympus, the maker of my camera, is also wishing me a happy birthday by offering me a discount on a product I didn't even know I needed.  Thanks, Olympus!

I usually get a card from my insurance company.  No discount, just thanks for giving us your money every month.

I'm waiting for a doctor's office to tell me Happy Birthday.  Let's celebrate with a Pap Smear and a Mammogram.  At least I need those things.  There probably won't be a discount there either.

I know this is more random than usual, but I'm really tired.  I meant to get all philosophical in the remaining minutes of my 30's, but  I really am too tired.  I also kind of don't want to be up when midnight comes around.  For me it's better to wake up to a birthday than to go to bed to one.

Good Night!

2 'til 40

I went to the gym at my apartment complex today to get my Identification card.  The guy at the front desk was super sweet and pretty good looking too.  He had to get all of my vital stats--name, the village I live in on the compound, and my birthdate.  He was shocked that I was born in 1966 and he said I looked really good.  Then looked me up and down and repeated it.  This isn't really news.  I know I don't look 40.  I've been told this a lot, but really I can't contribute my youthful appearance to anything but the good genes God graced me with.  I also know that I need to lose more than a few pounds, so I'm not going to go out and flaunt anything just because of this compliment.  However, there is something really nice about a hot 25 year old telling you how good you look.  I think I know why Demi married Ashton. 

3 'til 40

Some days you know you're, "I'm sorry you are going through that," speech doesn't really help.  Those are sad days for me.  I know I have no power really to make anyone's life better.  I can only tell them I will be there, actually be there, and give it all to God.  Still, I want to soothe and make things better for those that I love.  As I approach this milestone, let me pledge to do my best to "be there."

4 'til 40

Yesterday at my family reunion my mom gave me my birthday presents.  I am always at the scope of the presents.  I can always count on underwear (3 pairs) and something to make me smell good (breathe romance moisture wash).  She always has presents in there that she bought some time ago and saved them up to give to me as birthday presents.  I think that's why I got a magnetic steno pad that looks like it came from a teacher store and has "Things to do after I pray" at the top of it.  I also got a booklet of 101 inspirational sayings for teachers.  Very nice.  I bought me two cards, one that was serious and sweet and another that says 40 is the new 30.  Wait...there's more.  She bought me Olay Regenerist (exfoliates to detoxify and speed cells natural regeneration process), Olay age-defying anti-wrinkle lotion (not a wrinkle in sight, but never to late to stave off those pesky lines), and moisturizing body souffle (sounds decadent doesn't it?) to soothe my dry skin.  I now own a lovely pair of stockings and some literature about how HPV can cause cervical cancer (apparently, the literature came with the cards she bought).  Finally, she gave me a very lovely diamond ring. She told me that she had a diamond ring when she was young and told her grandmother she would give it to her daughter.  Somehow the ring was lost and she was upset about that.  I think this ring was a way for her to make good on her promise.  That's really the biggest gift she has ever given me--not that ring, but the absolute assurance that she would always come through with her promises.  I hope to one day be that kind of person.  Thanks, mom, for all the gifts and the excellent example.  I love you.

5 'til 40

My mom, who has been a widow for 37 years, is getting married.  WoooHooo!  Congratulations mom and Ed!  More info later.  Just wanted to get this out before the day was over.  Love you, mom!

Your daughter,

Sandy